Of Advice for a Quarter-Life Crisis

Last Thursday, I found myself in a room packed full of twenty- and thirty-somethings looking for guidance and direction in their lives because they were going through a quarter-life crisis.

A month or two ago, I wouldn't have felt the need to be in that room. I thought I had figured out my life five years ago when I decided to go to grad school, move up in my career, and get serious about writing. But, as so often happens, right when I thought my life was headed in the right direction, it all changed. In the span of two weeks, my brother and his wife moved 600 miles away, my writing career stalled, my manager gave his two weeks' notice at work, and another relationship ended. I felt like I had been trundling along the right path, when all of sudden, I hit a brick wall. The feeling of fulfillment I had in my work and personal life completely vanished, replaced by uncertainty and disappointment. So when a friend invited me to attend a four-week series on dealing with your quarter-life crisis, I immediately said yes.

Did I mention that my brother took this adorable creature with him, too?

Now, back to the room packed full of sad, lost souls with first-world problems. We all nodded along as the speaker talked about being overwhelmed with choices and feeling like we weren't far enough along in life. We all wanted answers, checklists, affirmation, a sign from God, a lifeline, anything that would reassure us that we would find our way eventually. We did get some guidance, and I want to share the advice that we got that night because it's simple, yet powerful. In fact, it is pretty much the same advice that you'd give to someone who was planning a trip:

1. Pick a destination. There are no right or wrong choices.
2. Aim in the direction of your goal -- direction, not intention, determines destination.
3. Avoid internal and external distractions along the way.
4. Enjoy the journey!

What I learned that night has already helped me immensely, especially the last point about enjoying the journey. There is so much in my life to be thankful for, that I don't want to let my setbacks get me down. It was also comforting to see that I wasn't the only one going through the feelings of loneliness, confusion, and frustration. If you're going through something similar, remember that you're not alone!

As for me, I'm calling the cops on my pity party. There are still two more sessions in the series, but I am already feeling a thousand times better. I'm going to my very first writing conference next week, I've got new writing goals, I cleaned out my closet, and I'm enjoying spending time with the family and friends who have stayed close. Oh, and I finally bought a new refrigerator with a functioning icemaker so that when life gives me lemons, I can make frozen lemonade!