Cover Reveal: Fairly Twisted Tales for a Horribly Ever After

Last November, I heard about a Project Runway-themed short story competition by REUTs Publications that coincided with National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I'm not sure I'll ever have the discipline to participate in the full version of NaNoWriMo which involves writing 50,000 words in one month, but writing a short story in a week sounded like fun!

And it was fun! The theme of the competition was twisted fairytales with supernatural elements which led to lots of ghoulish entries, many of which were revealed later on the REUTs blog. I feel incredibly honored and excited that my entry, "Sweetheart Ronin," a reimaging of the Grimm Brothers' "Sweetheart Roland" was picked to be part of the final anthology.

Without further ado, here is the creeptastic cover of Fairly Twisted Tales for a Horribly Ever After...

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Ta da!

 














Blurb: When it comes to fairy tales, there are plenty of things that go bump in the night. Things so morbid and grotesque, so sinister and diabolical, they haunt your imagination; warnings from generations past that still manage to terrify.

In 2013, authors came together for the annual Project REUTSway writing competition, penning their own interpretive twists on stories we're all familiar with. Seventeen were chosen, bringing twenty-five new versions to life. From The Brother's Grimm, to Hans Christian Andersen and beyond, these tales are not the ones you grew up with. They are, however, Fairly Twisted Tales for a Horribly Ever After. Dare to find out what happens when "once upon a time" ends in the stuff of nightmares?

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I love the cover! The spooky background photo and color palate are perfect for a Halloween night read.

The other cool thing about the book is that some of the proceeds are going to charity. The 2013 organization was Reading Tree/Discover Books, a “green” charity which promotes literacy in the US by keeping books out of landfills, funding library sustainability, providing books to low-income families, and more.

For the 2014 season, Project REUTsway giving you the chance to decide where proceeds will go! The new year also brings with it a new theme. So brush up on your histories, legends, and cultural lore, because they'll be looking for the most original, fantastic versions of tales that have braved the centuries.

 

 

Learn More About Project REUTSway.

Of a Post about Post-Its

An Ode to Post-It Notes

O Post-It Notes, you keep me on track.
When my life gets out of whack.

When I get stuck or in a jam,
Your neon yellow says,"Here I am!"

You keep my thoughts and jots and scribbles
And all my unintelligible drivel.

My lists are safe when in your care,
You're sticky, so you'll stay right there.

My pad is gone, what will I do?
I'll get online and order two.

Of Myers-Briggs and Characters

In a previous blog post, I talked about getting to know your characters through their zodiac signs. While that was fun, it's not exactly scientific. And as I continue writing the main character of my latest novel, I want to make sure that she is believable and well-rounded.

At my day job, I've been working on a book about skills for business managers. One of the tools the book suggests is taking the Myers-Briggs personality test and learning about your strengths and weaknesses. But isn't that what we need to know about our fictional characters, too? I decided to take the test as my main character, Emily, and see what happened.

The test is based on Carl Jung's theories of how we experience the world. The test measures four different categories and assigns letters corresponding to which end of the spectrum you lean towards in each category. If you want to read more about the Myers Briggs test and personality types, visit the official website.

The actual Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test is 93 questions long and costs money to take. However, there are free online questionnaires that mimic the original test and will tell you which of 16 personality types you belong to based on your answers. A free version by Humanmetrics is here. And another one by 16 Personalities is here.

The Humanmetrics test is fast and easy to take. The 16 Personalities test takes a little bit longer, but it might make you think about your character's actions more because it asks you to choose on a sliding scale.

I filled out both versions as Emily and got very similar results, which I am taking as a sign that I have a good handle on her personality. On the Humanmetrics test, the result was ESFP. On the 16 Personalities test, the result was ENFP.

Both of these personality types describe someone who is fun-loving, sociable, curious, talkative, and emotional. Exactly what I was going for! But maybe that was a self-fulfilling expectation. I did fill out the quiz, after all.

However, I think the most helpful part of the results is discovering what you weren't expecting to see. Examining your character's personality profile for traits that may surprise you will give you a deeper understanding of how your character will react to the events in your story.

For example, if your character is highly introverted and is in a situation where he must be around family or friends for a long time, he would probably become stressed and seek to be alone. Or if your character is very intuitive and feels others' emotional pain keenly, how would she deal with those feelings?

On the flip side, if you want your character to display certain traits that did not show up in your character's type, find the type that does display those traits. What actions or emotions would your character need to display in order for them to be that type?

Another helpful exercise is to search for fictional characters in literature and film who share your character's personality type. By reading and seeing other characters with the same personality type, you may get some fresh insight into your own character.

So what is your character's personality type? Is it similar to or different from your own? Did you learn anything new after taking the test?

Under the Sealing Wax: The Alchemist Empress

One of the coolest things about the Middle Ages is that alchemy was a legitimate profession. Before the discovery of gravity, or the atom, or cells, there were men and women who searched for the secret to unlocking the mysteries of matter.

One such woman was Barbara of Cilla (1392-1451), wife of Holy Roman Emperor Sigismund. Renowned for her beauty and intelligence, she ruled over her husband's growing empire while he was away fighting wars and crusades. After his death, political rivals stripped her of much of her wealth, briefly imprisoned her, and accused her of heresy and immoral behavior. She was also rumored to have taken up the practice of alchemy later in life.

Queen Barbara at Mass. Starnberg - Konstanz. Fol. 21r

John of Laz, an "honest" alchemist, wrote an account of meeting Barbara that was quoted in several later alchemical treatises:

I heard the rumor in various languages about the queen of the king of divine memory, Sigismund, that she was skilled in the art of physics. I went to her to make an assessment of her in the art of physics, and she answered me cleverly. I saw that she took mercury and arsenic and other things she knew well, and she made a powder, which whitened the copper, but did not pass well the test with the hammer, and with that she made many deceptions among the people. [...] Again I saw, that she took some saffron of Mars [iron oxide], some saffron of Venus [calcified copper], and other powders, and mixed them, and made cement out of them, and grasped it together with pieces of gold and argent [silver], and united them, it appeared pure gold both from outside and inside. And when she cast the whole thing, it lost its red color, and thus many traders were deceived with that.

 When John tries to point out her trickery, she goes a little Red Queen on him:

I saw many tricks and deceptions carried out by her, and corrected her in words. She however wanted to jail me, but I could leave with peace, because God helped me.

(Translated by Benedek Lang in Unlocked Books: Manuscripts of Learned Magic, p. 156.) 

We can pretty safely assume that Barbara never unlocked the secret formula for turning lead into gold. She probably never found the key to eternal life, either, because she died of the plague in her late fifties.

Barbara de Celje. Woodcut from the Nuremberg Chronicle.

However, during her marriage to Sigismund, Barbara helped to found the chivalric Order of the Dragon. Guess who was a member of the Order of the Dragon? ... Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?... Vlad Dracul, father of Vlad the Impaler, who is also known as Dracula! Coincidence? Perhaps not.

Of Advice for a Quarter-Life Crisis

Last Thursday, I found myself in a room packed full of twenty- and thirty-somethings looking for guidance and direction in their lives because they were going through a quarter-life crisis.

A month or two ago, I wouldn't have felt the need to be in that room. I thought I had figured out my life five years ago when I decided to go to grad school, move up in my career, and get serious about writing. But, as so often happens, right when I thought my life was headed in the right direction, it all changed. In the span of two weeks, my brother and his wife moved 600 miles away, my writing career stalled, my manager gave his two weeks' notice at work, and another relationship ended. I felt like I had been trundling along the right path, when all of sudden, I hit a brick wall. The feeling of fulfillment I had in my work and personal life completely vanished, replaced by uncertainty and disappointment. So when a friend invited me to attend a four-week series on dealing with your quarter-life crisis, I immediately said yes.

Did I mention that my brother took this adorable creature with him, too?

Now, back to the room packed full of sad, lost souls with first-world problems. We all nodded along as the speaker talked about being overwhelmed with choices and feeling like we weren't far enough along in life. We all wanted answers, checklists, affirmation, a sign from God, a lifeline, anything that would reassure us that we would find our way eventually. We did get some guidance, and I want to share the advice that we got that night because it's simple, yet powerful. In fact, it is pretty much the same advice that you'd give to someone who was planning a trip:

1. Pick a destination. There are no right or wrong choices.
2. Aim in the direction of your goal -- direction, not intention, determines destination.
3. Avoid internal and external distractions along the way.
4. Enjoy the journey!

What I learned that night has already helped me immensely, especially the last point about enjoying the journey. There is so much in my life to be thankful for, that I don't want to let my setbacks get me down. It was also comforting to see that I wasn't the only one going through the feelings of loneliness, confusion, and frustration. If you're going through something similar, remember that you're not alone!

As for me, I'm calling the cops on my pity party. There are still two more sessions in the series, but I am already feeling a thousand times better. I'm going to my very first writing conference next week, I've got new writing goals, I cleaned out my closet, and I'm enjoying spending time with the family and friends who have stayed close. Oh, and I finally bought a new refrigerator with a functioning icemaker so that when life gives me lemons, I can make frozen lemonade!

Of Why I Hate Making Ebooks

Because I work with ebooks as part of my day job as an editor at a business/academic publisher, I find the subject of ebooks to be particularly interesting. In theory, ebooks have a lot of advantages for consumers. I own a kindle and love its convenience for traveling. That's where the love stops. As an editor who is forced to produce ebooks, I find the making of them to be loathsome.

If you love ebooks, you probably want to stop reading this post now. They sell well, are great for authors, and are the wave of the future, blah blah blah. I get it and I don't care. If you want to hear why ebooks are the worst, then read on.

There has already been a lot written on why ebooks are bad for readers:

• Reading retention on screens is diminshed compared to paper
• They do not make your brain happy
• They slow down reading speed
• Enhanced ebooks don't help children learn how to read
• They have no inherent value as an object 
• They can only be read on proprietary devices
• Purchase of ebooks can be monitored or tracked

Ebooks are also obnoxious for the invisible cogs in the wheel: the editors, compositors, printers, and other behind-the-scenes people in publishing who make them or have lost business because of them.

First of all, I don't know many people who decided to work for a publisher because they were really excited about making books that you can double tap. We love books, which is why we work with books.

The external trappings of a book are just as important as the content on the inside. A lot of thought has gone into the size, shape, font, headings, cover art, etc. Ebooks obliterate all individuality of a book in favor of what the e-reader can support. We all know ebooks are ugly but it goes beyond that. Some e-readers can't display lists correctly or show emphasis through different font sizes, bolding, etc. As an editor, this is annoying because I have to shape the content to the demands of the e-reader, even though I believe the content should reign supreme. I work in business/academic publishing so it's doubly awful. Things like checklists, tables, boxes, and forms look terrible in ebooks and I feel bad for passing those on to a reader, but I can only work in the confines of the technology platform I'm given.

Also, different e-readers take different file types and things display differently on each platform. Smaller publishers often don't have the time, money, manpower, or expertise to make multiple .this or .that so they are forced to pick one and miss out on potential business because some customers decided to buy a Nook instead of an iPad.

Ebook production also disrupts the normal flow of the traditional publishing process, leading to errors. I hate errors. Lots of corrections and changes are usually made during the pageproofs stage of a book because (see list above) it's easier to read on paper than on screen. However, because it's faster to produce an ebook than a print book, those corrections are not captured in the ebook file, causing either mistakes or redundancy and inefficiency in the workflow. Maybe other publishers have figured this out, but I don't think so, given the number of errors I've seen and heard about.

Finally, it's frustrating to hear people complain that ebook pricing in the academic market is too high. Basically, the only cost that differs from ebook to print (in my company) is printing costs. Often, that's less than $5 per book, but many customers expect huge discounts in prices. The book still has to be edited, composed, and go through quality control. And if it's being sold by an online distributor, they take an extra cut. A self-published fiction book goes through a completely different process, so an author can still make a profit selling a book for $1.99. If my company sold first edition books for that price, I'd be out of a job.

So next time you get into a heated debate about ebooks (which I'm sure happens all the time), feel free to use these gripes as ammunition for why ebooks are the worst. Clearly, ebooks are here to stay but they have a long way to go in the academic market especially. I'm sure my grandchildren will read this one day on their e-readers on Mars and be amazed at how we ever survived with such primitive technology. Hey grandkids, don't forget to call me on my birthday.

Of Baking Cakes and Trunking Novels

Last night, I tried to bake a rainbow cake for my co-worker's birthday. Why a rainbow cake? I don't know, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. My creative cooking muse is a fickle creature. I was hoping it would come out looking something like these beautiful confections:

Okay, well I knew it wouldn't look that good. But I wanted to make a bright, colorful cake.

I made my shopping list and went to the store after work. Armed with cake mix, food coloring, and cans of frosting, I was feeling confident. Later that night, I dove into baking. Everything was going great until I turned the pans upside down to remove the baked cake rounds. One broke completely, and the other one came out like this:

Still hopeful because I had another box of cake mix, I continued to prepare my cake. I even baked the second batch a little longer, thinking that would stop them from crumbling. Not so much. My rainbow cake was well on its way to becoming a rainbow disaster. 

But I had promised my friend a cake for her birthday...there was no turning back! I stacked my crumbling layers on top of each other with generous layers of frosting in between to hold them together. It looked absolutely awful. And I had gone through 75% of the two tubs of icing I bought. I shaved the edges and ended up with a plate full of neon crumbs that didn't look much better than the cake itself:

 

At that point, I decided to put the cake in the fridge to firm up and then deal with it later. This morning, I woke up and realized that even if I could only produce one slice of cake, my friend would still have something sweet to eat for her birthday. I used the remaining scoops of frosting to cover up one edge of the cake, cut it, and put the single slice in a tupperware. I even made it to work on time.

Mission accomplished and, according to my friend, her slice of cake tasted great. Whew!

My semi-failure brought to mind how it feels to keep working on a story or a novel that just isn't coming together. You know it's turning into a hot mess, but you've invested so much time and effort into it that moving ahead seems easier than abandoning it.

I recently put away a novel that I had been working on for a few months. After researching parallel universes, ondines, hair bleaching, and the physics of time travel, then falling in love with my characters, my manuscript was a hot, hot mess. Stepping away from it was hard, but I know it was the right thing to do. It freed up my time to start working on my next project, which is going much better.

Over the weekend, I started thinking about my trunked chapters again. With a few tweaks, I think I can keep the core of the story and start over with some modifications. Like my cake, there's a salvageable piece even if the rest of it has to go in the garbage.

So if you're struggling with your manuscript, listen to the voice that's telling you to walk away. Remember that there's no shame in putting it away in the refrigerator for a little while to firm up. I think some new authors keep forging ahead for too long and end up with thousands of words that they know aren't their best work. Knowing when to stop can be a good thing.

But at the end of the day, any time spent writing isn't wasted. It will help you get better and learn so that your next novel (or cake) is beautiful and holds together.

The Jealous Writer's Book Review: Princess Academy by Shannon Hale

I would venture to guess that every writer with dreams of publication also dreams about getting great reviews. When I was writing my first book, I would lie in bed before falling asleep and dare to imagine what kinds of words I would want to hear describing my book: luminous, lyrical, breathtaking, thought-provoking, life-changing... Yeah, you get the idea.

Shannon Hale's books get reviews that I can literally only dream about. Princess Academy is a Newberry Honor book in addition to winning heaps of other awards and inspired reviews with the phrases:

"...a precise lyricism to the language and a rhythm to the story that takes its tropes from many places, but its heart from ours...[A]n unalloyed joy." (Kirkus)

"Faceted and brilliant, PRINCESS ACADEMY is a jewel of a book." (bakka-phoenix science fiction bookstore)

"Hale weaves an intricate, multilayered story about families, relationships, education, and the place we call home." (School Library Journal)
 

Excuse me while I set my latest story on fire.

But seriously, this is the kind of praise that makes me want to work ten times harder because in her own blog, Shannon Hale is so unbelievably gracious and humble about her success.

Having the read the reviews of Princess Academy before downloading it on my Kindle, I had high expectations...perhaps overly high. The title conjures images of sumptuous dresses, elaborate palaces, and glittering crowns. I was ready to be hypnotized by lyrical loveliness, lush descriptions, and matchless poetic prowess. In short, I was expecting the YA novel equivalent of Avatar's visual effects. But that would have been the opposite of what PA actually is.

The world created by Hale's descriptive language was quiet and at times, harsh. There were no  glittering crowns and only one sumptuous dress. The immediate settings consist only of Miri's village in Mount Eskel, the academy set up at the base of the mountain in a derelict building, and the road in between. The isolated setting echoes the isolation Miri feels as an outcast from her society's main activity: working in the quarry.

Miri is too small and weak to work in the quarry with her father and sister, and she's whiny about it at first. For this reason, I hate book covers that depict the main character. The cover that came with my Kindle version shows this rosy-cheeked girl on the left. She looks plenty strong enough to work in the quarry. Get with it, girl!

As it turns out, like most things in this book, the reason why Miri isn't allowed to work in the quarry is not what it first appears. Neither is the princess academy, the long-awaited prince, or the new girl in town.

I enjoyed reading Princess Academy, but more than my own experience, I was curious to see how other readers reacted to this unusual book. Clearly, it garnered some awards and great reviews from professionals...but did the people agree?

Overall, most readers seemed to enjoy it, but it was a polarizing book. The things that some readers liked most, others disliked intensely. For some, the plot was full of twists and turns, while others found it predictable. Some found Miri to be a likeable character and praised her emotional growth, while others thought she was catty and lacked depth. Writing Lesson: You can't please everyone, even if you're Shannon Hale.

And then there was Amma, who seemed to have a strange grip on reality:

This is the greatest book I've ever ever ever ever read. It takes place a longggg time ago in Scandanavia and it is so like real life it's scary. It very interseting, a book you can't put down.

Mmmmmk. Are you able to magically communicate through stones, Amma? You might need to get that checked out.

But Shannon Hale's writing was one thing everyone could agree was exceptional. Her use of figurative language, fully imagined setting, world-building through songs and customs, and connection to fairytales all contributed to giving the book the "lyrical quality" that she is known for. Writing Lesson: Readers will notice and appreciate when you maintain consistency with setting, style, and language.

After finishing this book and having some time to think about it, my writerly feelings are still conflicted. I wanted to be able to pick the book apart, find its core programming, and then install it into myself. But that's not the way writing works. Like Miri, I have to embrace my own strengths because I can improve, but I can't become someone else. Damn you and your life lessons, Shannon Hale! I was happy wallowing in my jealousy before you came along.

 

In Summation

Did I like it? Yes
Would I recommend it? If you are prepared to embrace the experience, yes
Did it make me jealous? Sooooo jealous

Of the First 250: A Formula for Success

The dreaded first 250 words of your manuscript -- if you are a writer, you know what I'm talking about. The pressure to make the first page of your book be EVERYTHING is insane. It has to be well-written, attention-grabbing, clear, interesting, filled with voice, start at the right spot, as well as establish character, setting, and the direction of the plot.

In addition to all the things it has to do, there are other things it should absolutely NOT do. It can't start off too slow or too fast, be too action-packed or dump too much information. It can't open with a prologue, a car crash, the character waking up, or a character looking in a mirror.

Lord have mercy! It's enough to make anyone tear their hair out and cry into a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Not that I've done that or anything.

Assuming the pages are generally well-written, most of the criticism of the first pages from agents and readers falls into a few categories that are summed up in ambiguous phrases like:

• Doesn't start in the right place
• Doesn't "grab" me
• Wasn't invested in characters or couldn't connect with them
• Was confused or couldn't understand what was happening

After reading a lot on the subject and approximately a bajillion other writer's first 250 on blogs, I think I may have finally found the magic formula. The best openers manage to blend all of these five elements: setting, uniqueness, character, conflict, and reaction (aka SUCCR). This was the best acronym I could come up with. It's pronounced "sucker."

The first three elements of SUCCR -- setting, uniqueness, and character -- should be fundamental to your story. If you haven't come up with a unique premise with compelling characters and a recognizable setting, then you have deeper issues. These three elements shouldn't be conveyed all at once. They should be sprinkled throughout using adjectives, short descriptions, and bits of dialogue. Remember to trust your reader to create the world from hints you give them. In the first 250, don't waste space with long descriptions or world-building tidbits.

A unique premise doesn't have to be outlandish or crazy to stand out. All it needs to do is draw readers in and make them curious about what will happen on the next page or next chapter.

Here are some (ridiculous) examples of how you should and shouldn't incorporate SUC in your first 250:

Not so good 

Marya bent over the iacthix terminal, followed the tracking signal that beamed into her retinas, and smiled triumphantly when the terminal unlocked and spit out her diploma.

"See," she announced to Ripstock. "I told you I passed." Ripstock wagged his tentacles, then licked her toes.

Better 

When it was Marya's turn to be scanned by the registrar terminal, she couldn't look at Ripstock, afraid to see the doubt in his usually trusting face. The laser flashed in her eyes, followed immediately by the whirr of the terminal. An engraved diploma clinked into the bin, and Marya retrieved it triumphantly.

"See," she announced to Ripstock. "I told you I passed."

In the first example, we have no idea what kind of terminal Marya is at or what her relationship to Ripstock is. There are too many new words to comprehend. In the second example, even the tiny word choices of "registrar" and "diploma" help ground the reader and establish the setting and unique situation. In the first example, Ripstock appears out of nowhere and we have no idea why he's there. In the second example, although there is less physical detail, it's clear that Ripstock is friendly, but is doubting her right now.

Here's one more example based on the dreaded waking up scenario:

Not so good: 

Hunter woke up screaming for the fiftieth time that month. His dream that a beautiful woman was clawing at his face was real this time! Without thinking, he unsheathed his dagger and thrust it upwards. The woman evaporated into wisps of gardenia-scented smoke. He lay back, covered in sweat, sure he would never fall asleep again.

Better: 

Hunter's bunkmates were snoring as usual. For the fiftieth time, he checked the dagger at his side, hopeful that tonight he would have a chance to use it on something solid. Determined to stay awake, he reached out for his friend Ito only to find his bed empty. Hunter panicked, feeling the wrinkled bedsheets in darkness. He didn't think he was dreaming, but how many times had he fallen asleep only to be awoken by his own screaming and the scent of gardenias mixed with blood?  

In both of these examples, we end in a similar place, but the second example gets there in a more concrete setting and without the character waking up. As a bonus, it introduces a missing friend, which might be enough mystery to keep a reader or agent intrigued. The first example might get the "starts in the wrong place" reaction, but the second example, depending on how it progresses, might not.

The last two elements of SUCCR, conflict and reaction, should take up more space in your first pages. They will help readers connect with your characters. If you have gotten comments from readers and agents that they aren't "grabbed by" or "connecting" with your characters, adding a touch of CR can help.

Here's an excellent example of conflict and reaction from the first pages of The Secret Garden:

One frightfully hot morning, when [Mary] was about nine years old, she awakened feeling very cross, and she became crosser still when she saw that the servant who stood by her bedside was not her Aya.

"Why did you come?" she said to the strange woman. "I will not let you stay. Send my Ayah to me."

The woman looked frightened, but she only stammered that the Ayah could not come, and when Mary threw herself into a passion and beat and kicked her, she looked only more frightened and repeated that it was not possible for the Ayah to come to Missie Sahib.

Mary's reaction to her Ayah's absence tells us something about her and her character. It isn't pleasant, but it helps us understand the "quite contrary" girl whose parents and Ayah are about to die. The conflict here is minor, but by the time we truly understand the horrible situation later, we have some insight into how she will handle it.

Try to incorporate something minor in your first 250 that your character can react to. The key words here are minor and something.

There are two main problems regarding CR that I've noticed in other writers' opening pages. Some have too big of a conflict right away like a car crash or death. In this instance, we don't know the character well enough and any reaction is open to criticism such as crying too much, not enough, doesn't seem scared, etc.

The opposite problem is having no conflict or having other characters reacting to the main character. This is especially noticeable when a character is being bullied immediately. When the main character is shrinking internally, even if we are inside of his or her head, it's not inviting to a reader. Also, if the character is musing about life over a bowl of cereal or observing the landscape instead of reacting to something, you aren't trusting your reader to get to know your character through his or her actions. Actions speak louder than words!

The first 250 are like the reader looking through a keyhole into your book. Do we want to follow this character and author through the door? Happy Writing!

Under the Sealing Wax: A Sixteenth-Century Boy and His Pony (That Never Came)

What is it about kids wanting ponies? No, really. What is it? I don't get it.

I guess ponies are cute, but I bet that most kids today would concede that it would be exceedingly impractical to own one. And yet, there is some mysterious allure to owning a tiny horse that persists even in modern times when our modes of transportation have increased ten-fold.

Before cars were invented, ponies must have been the equine version of Power Wheels for kids. They represented independence, mobility, and responsibility the same way owning a car does today. But they were just the right size! No doubt kids have been begging their parents for ponies since the dawn of time -- or at least for the past several hundred thousand years since the first pleistocine equus galloped its way into the first homo sapiens' heart.

In 1591, young Balthasar Paumgartner pined for a little horse of his own. His merchant father (also named Balthasar) traveled away from their home in Nuremburg quite often, so his mother Magdalena's letters kept his father up-to-date on the goings-on of their household and only child. Young Balthasar was very fond of getting presents and clothes from his father and once he became old enough to start writing himself, he conveyed these wishes clearly:

I am happy to hear that you have arrived [in Frankfurt] safe and sound. Please bring me a little pony. Ask Meringer [ostensibly a dealer] where you can buy one covered in cowhide. Also two pairs of stockings, one skin-colored and one black. I try to be good all the time and I study diligently. Make the best of my writing; I hope to do better soon.

1577, Alonso Sanchez Coello
Portrait of Don Diego, Son of Philip II of Spain with his hobby horse & spear

In this letter, Balthasar is asking for a toy pony covered in cowhide, possibly like the one pictured above. Six months later, the boy became very ill but his desire for a pony did not lessen. His mother wrote to her husband,

Please ask Meringer about horses. He knows where one can find horses covered with goatskin. The boy talks incessantly about a horse, but he has in mind a small living one. You may wish to buy him one.

1609, Circle of Jan Claesz
A boy with his horse & dog

Sadly, with no indication that his father ever sent any kind of pony, Balthasar died a few months later in 1592 after an agonizing illness.  But even while he was bedridden, Balthasar drew pictures of horses in his notebook and presumably kept hoping to ride his own horse one day.

If you're interested in learning more about Magdalena, Balthasar, and their world, check out Steven Ozment's book, Magdalena & Balthasar: An Intimate Portrait of Life in 16th-Century Europe Revealed in the Letters of Nuremberg Husband & Wife.

Of Book Collecting on a Budget

One of the few instances when the adage "don't judge a book by its cover" is not applicable is in the world of book collecting. When I say that I love books, I mean that I love what's inside of them but also the actual book itself. If I read a good book, I want to own the most beautiful, original copy that my budget can afford. I have a small collection of my own, and when I look at the shelf, it warms my heart. Collecting books is like collecting art. You can admire them, read them, and invest in them!

And if you're a writer or interested in a particular subject, building your own collection can add a whole new dimension to your research. (As if you needed another reason to procrastinate actually writing.)

My very modest book collection

If you have an empty shelf and a few bucks, you have everything you need to start collecting books.

Thrift stores, antique stores, and secondhand book stores are great places to begin. You can also ask family members for heirloom books from your childhood or see if there are old books they want to get rid of. Whenever a cover or title catches your eye or piques your interest, that's a great place to start.

The world of book collecting can be intimidating to the uninitiated. Really, though, there isn't a "wrong" way to do it, and you don't need to know the technical terms for things to be able to make good decisions about what to buy.

A few general rules to keep in mind:

    Hardback > Paperback
    Hardback with a jacket > Hardback without a jacket
    Older publication date > Newer publication date
    First Edition > Anything Else (second, third, fourth edition; first edition in another country)
    Signed Author Copy > Non-signed copy
    Pristine Condition > Scuffed, ripped, marked-up or water-damaged

The holy grail of fiction book collecting is a first edition, signed author copy in pristine condition. Hardback books are always a better investment than paperback for several reasons: they are more durable, usually better made, and are more likely to be an earlier edition. A "first edition" means the very first printing of a book. Any subsequent editions can have changes and are thus further from the original. This is another great reason to go to author signings and buy the first edition of an author's book. Who knows how much that book could be worth in a few years?

Another great resource is AbeBooks (abebooks.com). It's the best used book site on the web and can be helpful when you're trying to find information on books and their value. If you want to collect books on a specific topic or are looking for a particular book, it's the place to go. You can filter by first editions, arrange search results by date and price, which can help you find the best copy in your price range.

Now, if you'll indulge me, I will pick a book from my lovely little shelf and show you how it came into my possession.

A year or so ago, I went to a local consignment store to help my mom look for furniture. We didn't find anything for her, but a slim book caught my eye. If it was a guy, it would have been love at first sight. It was a copy of The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway. Right away, I saw four important things: it was hardcover, it had a colorful jacket, it was old, and it was in good condition.

Hello, gorgeous! Want to come home with me?

I flipped open the cover and the price was $5. Next, I looked at the title page and copyright page. These pages should tell you who the publisher is, when it was published, if it is a first edition or not, and other vital information. In this case, it appeared to be a first edition, although not the first printing. All excellent things...and at $5, I was head over heels. If only finding good men was so easy.

Title page

Copyright page

When I got home, it went right onto my shelf next to its new friends. Just for kicks, I wanted to find out more about my purchase. A little browsing on the Internet revealed that I had obtained a UK first edition, but the US first edition of this book is much more desirable. I then headed over to the AbeBooks site to see if I had made a good investment.

I searched by title and author, then put the name of the publisher in the keyword section. Sorting those results by price, high to low, quickly showed that if Hemingway had signed this book, my investment would have paid off big time.

I could have bought a lot of chocolate bars for $6000. Sigh.

A little further down the page, I found some results that were more in line with the condition of my copy. The prices ranged from the one below at $123 to others around $60.

The thing about collecting books, much like art and real estate, is that a book is only worth what someone else will pay for it. Even if I sold my copy for $50 to undercut the competition, that would be almost a 1000% profit or 20 chocolate bars. Not too shabby.

Are you ready to get out there and scour the shelves for hidden treasures? If you could own any book in the world, what would it be?

Of How Life Feels Sometimes

Of Finding Writing Inspiration and Ideas: 5 Tips

Sometimes when I tell people I write fiction, I get asked the question "What inspires you?" or "Where do you come up with ideas?"

At first, I thought people were curious about where I got the specific ideas for my own books, but after perusing other writer's blogs and hearing them get asked the same question, I've realized that it's a more general inquiry. Specifically, some people want to know "Where can I find inspiration for a story." I don't really get it because coming up with ideas has never been a problem for me. Figuring out if they are good ideas and then actually sitting down to write them is my issue.

But in the spirit of sharing, I now present my 5 out-of-the-box tips to getting inspired.

 

1.  Adopt a "What If" Mindset or Use Your Anxiety

 I believe there's a reason why so many writers share a similar anxious temperament. I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, it was called being "shy." When I was older, it was called "Why are you acting so weird? Just get over it."

 

When you are anxious, you allow the "what ifs" of life to take over. Potential scenarios play out in your head over and over again, going through every variation of the future again and again until your brain is satisfied that it can tackle any future danger. For example: what if I show up to the movie theater too late and there are no tickets? What if all the seats are taken? What if I have to climb over someone to get to a seat? What if the movie is too scary? What if I see someone I know? What if I have to use the bathroom during the movie? What if...? What if...?

 

All of those anxious thoughts wear a rut in your mind and lead thinking about a thousand possible futures that will probably never happen. I have found that those are the same thinking patterns that can lead to ideas for a book. "What if" is the best question to ask yourself if you want to come up with crazy book ideas.

 

If you take your favorite genre and a "what if" mindset on your trip to the movie theater, you could be asking yourself some questions that could turn into a plot:

 

Sci-fi: What if I go to the movie theater and an alien is running mind experiments during the movie?

Contemporary YA: What if I go to the movie theater and I see my boyfriend making out with someone else?

Women's Fiction: What if I go to the movie theater and see my long-lost first love acting on screen?

Thriller: What if I go the movie theater and witness a murder in the projection room?

 

2. Be Judgmental and Critical of Popular Media Failures

A few weeks ago, I tuned into the premiere of Dominion, a new show on SyFy. The ads looked interesting: attractive guys, angel wings, action. After hearing the intro about a "chosen one" and then seeing the hunky blond lead, I realized I was in for another "white guy saves the world" show. There's nothing wrong with that, but its predictability annoyed me. Another thing that annoyed me was that the chosen one's sidekick is an urchin named Bixby who looks like she took a wrong turn on the way to the young Cosette auditions for Les Miserables. It's not clear what her purpose is or why she's there, but dang it, I really wanted her to be the "chosen one." That would have been a real twist. Someone needs to write that story.

 

 

When you're seething during a bad movie or reading a book that doesn't quite work, think about it critically. What would you do to make it better? How would you tell this story differently? If you tap into the right emotion of righteous anger, you might find the spark of your own story. Don't plagiarize someone else's work, obviously, but maybe your spin-off will be better than the original.

 

3. Pay Attention to the News

Take a page from Suzanne Collins who was inspired to write The Hunger Games while flipping between the news and reality TV:

 

One night, I was lying in bed, and I was channel surfing between reality TV programs and actual war coverage. On one channel, there’s a group of young people competing for I don’t even know; and on the next, there’s a group of young people fighting in an actual war. I was really tired, and the lines between these stories started to blur in a very unsettling way. That’s the moment when Katniss’s story came to me. (SLJ)

 

Remember: the truth is stranger than fiction.

 

I don't write crime stories, but if I did, I would imagine that the police blotter in the newspaper would be a good place to get inspiration. Keep an eye out for local news stories that go viral. Clearly there's some element to the story that captured the public's attention and that could be a good starting point for a story.

 

4. Go to a Museum or Antique Store

As a writer of historical fiction, I find that museums are great places to find inspiration. On a recent vacation to London, I had a germ of an idea in my brain. When I went to the Victoria & Albert museum, that germ exploded into a full-blown concept when I saw a collection of ancient and medieval well-heads. Being exposed to objects that I had never seen before really got my mind working. And hey, even if you don't get inspired, you might have learned something.

 

Antique stores are full of unusual, beautiful objects that could spark an idea. Think about the lives these pieces of history witnessed. Who treasured them? Who discarded them? Unlike museums, you can hold these things in your hand, open them up, and search for hidden treasure.

 

Don't know what this is? That's okay. Make something up.

5. Suspend Your Own Disbelief

If you are a logical person, it can be hard to let go of your rationality and use your imagination. Unfortunately, you need to unleash your imagination to come up with interesting and original story ideas. When you're trying to come up with ideas for stories, don't listen to the voice that says "that's not possible." Who cares if it's not possible? You're trying to entertain people, not write a dissertation.

 

If you feel the seed of an idea start to grow and your rational voice squashes it, tell that voice to take a hike for a while. So what if there's no proof angels exist? So what if tracking a phone call is actually an instantaneous process? So what if cats can't talk? If you can believe it, so can your readers.

 

 

 

I hope these tips are helpful if you're looking to get inspired. If you're a writer, what are you sources of inspiration? What do you tell people when they ask where you get your ideas?

 

Of Living in the Past at Colonial Camp

The first line of L.P. Hartley's novel Go-Between, "The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there," has special meaning for me because eleven years ago, I spent one very interesting summer living in the foreign country of the past.

Finding summer jobs back in North Carolina was hard while I was in college in Massachusetts, so I felt lucky to get a job as a counselor at an outdoor, colonial-living style residential camp. I was going to work with kids, be a role model, maybe figure out if I wanted to be a teacher, and get paid pretty well for it! My parents were insistent that I work during the summers, and the Michaels where I was a cashier for my first summer job had closed. The next year, I worked at an oil change service center. It was hot, the pay was terrible, and my coworkers did drugs together in their cars during work. (Just to be clear, I did not join them.)

I also had another unusual reason for wanting to work as a counselor. When I was eight years old, I ran away from girl scout camp. My poor counselors probably felt terrible. Becoming a camp counselor myself felt like cosmic penance for being such a crappy camper when I was a kid. And who could be more empathetic to homesick kids than me?

Modeling the latest in colonial camp fashion.

At the end of my freshman year, my parents gave me a car to use and off I went to colonial camp. The lovely couple who runs the camp lives in a log cabin in rural North Carolina. They completely embraced the lifestyle and values of the eighteenth-century in their everyday lives whenever possible but still made use of modern conveniences like washing machines and automobiles (thank goodness). They also do year-round events for school groups and had been going to Revolutionary War reenactments for a long time. I didn't know it at the time because I hadn't worked at many places, but they turned out to be some of the best businesspeople and all-around good people I've ever met.

The camp was set up in a clearing a few miles away from the main house. This was not the cushy lifestyle of the gentleman farmer or the cobblestoned lanes of Colonial Williamsburg. The living conditions were more in line with a Revolutionary War camp. The site consisted of canvas tents with straw floors, lots of picnic benches, a covered cooking area, a water pump, and lots and lots of trees. Mercifully, there was a port-a-potty. Oh, did I mention this was in North Carolina in the summer with no air conditioning? Did I also mention that we were wearing colonial-style clothes? It was hot, my friends. Very hot.

Deluxe sleeping accommodations

The first four weeks of camp were boy's weeks, meaning there were only boy campers. The female counselors were responsible for cooking, some general cleanup, helping out with activities, but mostly cooking. All of the cooking was done over open fires, and so as soon as the sun came up, we started cooking breakfast. When breakfast was done, it was time to start lunch. Once the pots were cleaned out from lunch, it was time to start dinner. To fuel the cooking fires, the campers would chop wood from the time they woke up until mid-morning.

After lunch, when the heat was the most intense, campers were encouraged to take naps, write letters, and generally take a break before activities started back up later in the afternoon. At night, we would sit around the fire and tell stories. When black clouds rose up in the west, we battened down the hatches and waited for rain. Never before had I been so in tune with the natural rhythm of the day. I woke up to the song of nightingales and fell asleep to the hooting of owls. When it was hot, we rested in the shade. When it was cool, we enjoyed it. Sometimes, I long to escape my present, air-conditioned cubicle life and go back.

Colonial fowl!

The best part about working at the camp was watching the kids feel the same way about being there. It takes a certain kind of kid to want to go to colonial camp, and most of them were totally excited about being there. Each new set of campers marveled at how hard it was to chop wood. They loved learning how to throw tomahawks and shoot a blunderbuss. For a week, they left behind their phones, TV programs, video games, and all modern conveniences, and magically didn't die of boredom! Even though they couldn't wait to eat hamburgers when they got home, they learned how much work it is to cook over an open fire. (Churning ice cream was worth it, though.) Some of the campers would come back year after year, eventually becoming counselors themselves.

When it came time for me to take on my own set of campers during the final two girl's weeks, I was nervous to be in charge of my own campers. My nerves turned out to be the least of my worries. I discovered a new fact about myself: my limit for living outdoors in colonial times is approximately four weeks. During the fifth week of camp, I contracted a hellacious virus. I couldn't keep any food down, and could barely sleep during the hot nights. When I started hallucinating one night, I knew I needed some modern medicine. It wasn't the same as running away as a kid, but I felt like I had failed at being a counselor.

I hated that I wasn't strong enough to push through my illness, but if I had learned anything from the previous weeks, it was that your body knows when it needs to take a break. Living like a colonial person was fine; dying like one was not. I kept working there during the day, but drove to my parents' house each night to sleep. To this day, I still feel bad that I might have disappointed my campers, my other counselors, and the owners, but I think I did okay for an 18-year-old.

My stay in the past may have been a short one, but I would go back and visit any time -- on a four-week visa.

Under the Sealing Wax: Fifteenth-Century Parenting with Agnes Paston

A few weeks ago on Last Comic Standing, my favorite contestant Joe Machi joked about how his married friends said they didn't want to bring a child into the world the way it is now. Joe says, "What do you mean, the way it is now? The best it's been in history? Back in the day, people would be having 15 kids, and most of them would die. Most of your life was having kids, then watching them die. Then you would die. Of something they'd prevent by washing your hands."





Andrea Mantegna,
The Virgin with the
Sleeping Child,
1465/70.

It's true that child rearing and acceptable parenting practices have changed a lot since the Middle Ages. Documents like the Paston letters give a rare glimpse at how parents and children interacted half a millenium ago. The Paston letters are a collection of medieval letters and documents exchanged between members of the Paston family in England during the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries. While their primary value is to legal and historical scholars, there is a wealth of detail about family relationships. To learn more about the Paston letters, visit 

http://www.luminarium.org/medlit/paston.htm.

Medieval historians are still debating how childhood was viewed in the pre-modern era. Were children treated as miniature adults, expected to conform to the same standards of behavior? In a time with such high infant mortality rates, how did parents cope with the reality of losing their children? Did parents cherish their children in the same ways that many modern parents do? Evidence from art, literature, and historical documents like the Paston letters doesn't present a singular answer to those questions. One thing is for sure: the phrase "spare the rod and spoil the child" was taken literally.

 

Agnes Paston was the matriarch of the upwardly mobile Paston family in the mid-fifteenth century. As her family grew and left her nest, she had strong opinions about how her five children should conduct their lives. In the letter below, she instructs Greenfield, the tutor of her fifteen-year-old son Clement, to whip him if he is not being diligent at his studies:

 

Errands to London of Agnes Paston, the 28th day of January, 1457, the year of King Henry VI. the 36th.

 [...] To pray Greenfield to send me faithfully word by writing how Clement Paston hath done his endeavour in learning.

And if he hath not done well, nor will not amend, pray him that he will truly [whip] him till he will amend; and so did the last master, and the best that ever he had, at Cambridge.

That's some tough love. But just wait, Agnes' next instruction is to check the condition of her son's clothes:

 

[S]ee how many gowns Clement hath, and that they be bare, let them be raised (let them have a new nap set upon them.)

 

From this we may deduce that even in the fifteenth century, moms were still taking care of their kids' laundry. Some things never change.

 

 

The Jealous Writer's Book Review: Crispin: The Cross of Lead by Avi

You have to be exceptionally confident and a touch delusional to go by one name. It's also helpful to have an uncommon name like Madonna, Prince, Plato, or Banksy. The official term for a one-word name is mononym. That's your word for the day...you're welcome.

Interestingly, mononymy declined in the West during the Middle Ages and has only recently become popular again with rockstars. Avi, the author of the medieval historical fiction novel, Crispin: The Cross of Lead, is bringing mononymy back for writers. He's written over fifty books in many genres, most of them for children. He has a great blog that answers readers' questions and talks about his writing process. Hence, Avi is the rockstar of the middle-grade fiction world. Is it even possible to be jealous of a writer like Avi? He's got about a 50-year head start on me. And his books have won the highest honors a children's book can get. I am beyond jealous...I am terrified to be confronted with the impossibility of his awesomeness.

I picked up a hardcover copy of Crispin a while ago at my local thrift store. It was in pristine condition with the gold Newberry medal shining brilliantly on the nearly flawless dust jacket. At that point, my natural inclination towards jealousy was completely overriden by sadness. An unread book of medieval middle-grade historical fiction is like a slap in the face to my own dreams. What if one of my books ends up in the local Goodwill one day, abandoned between crockpot cookbooks and last year's almanac? Do the children not want to read about the Middle Ages? Will they not want to read my book then either?

According to reader reviews of the book, that doesn't seem to be the case. Here's my favorite five-star review from Amazon reviewer Wyatt Singletary:

It's good and gets the readers attention quick but it also isn't good then it's really good and then its great

I agree, Wyatt Singletary. My work here is finished. Psych!

The events of Crispin take place in England in 1377. It's told in the first person by a boy who goes by the name "Asta's son" because he doesn't know his real name. After his mother dies, he accidentally stumbles into a secret meeting with the local steward and a stranger. Suddenly, he is accused of theft and has to run for his life...literally. This is what is depicted on the book's cover. Run, Asta's son, run!

He tries to find asylum with the local priest, who tells him his real name is Crispin. The next morning, the priest's throat is slit, blood is everywhere, and Crispin has to run again. He ends up in the company of a huge jester-type man named Bear. Bear is a barely toned-down version of Falstaff, and he draws Crispin into some secret plots or something. To be honest, I couldn't really follow all of the intrigue that was going on, especially because the "twist" of Crispin's true identity wasn't too hard to figure out so all of the extra machinations felt superfluous to me. Unlike the last book I reviewed, Rose, it was clear this book was going to be scary and violent throughout, with lots of period-appropriate villians and weapons.

All in all, the book is action-packed and entertaining. It's got the 3 P's of medieval historical fiction: poverty, pestilence, and patriarchy.  I just made those up, but I'll stand by it. It's not an inaccurate picture of fourteenth-century England, but Crispin is definitely a book that appeals to boys. There are knife fights, dirt, blood, and few women in sight. If you want some medieval girl stories, you have to go to Karen Cushman because she has the market cornered on that.

What I was really interested in about Avi's book was how he constructed and explained his medieval setting. I struggled with that in my own writing, so I was curious to learn from the master. Avi's approach was to just dive right in. He doesn't shy away from tough medieval concepts like crop rotation, land-owning nobility, wolfesheved, Catholicism, and of course, death. Some of them are casual asides, while some are explained fairly well. But all of them are woven in seamlessly and with little commentary. He uses difficult, period-specific vocabulary with no explanation--something I was worried about doing--and it works. Writing lesson: readers will keep up even if they don't know every word.

It was great to hear reviewers liberally praise the book's setting:

Avi has done an excellent job of integrating background and historical information, of pacing the plot so that the book is a page-turner from beginning to end, and of creating characters for whom readers will have great empathy. -- School Library Journal

Avi builds an impressive backdrop for his arresting characters: a tense medieval world in which hostility against the landowners and their cruelties is increasing. There's also other nail-biting tension in the story that builds to a gripping, somewhat confusing ending, which finds Crispin, once weak, now strong. Readers may not understand every nuance of the political machinations that propel the story, but they will feel the shifting winds of change beginning to blow through a feudal society. -- Booklist

The Middle Ages was such an interesting, complex time when children had real responsibility to provide for their families and communities that it blows my mind that it isn't a popular setting for children's historical fiction. Far from being jealous of Crispin, I was inspired by it. Yes, it's a depressing story. Yes, women aren't in it. Yes, it's slightly convoluted. But it brought a far-away time and place to life, and did it in an exciting way. And kids think it's cool! Reading Crispin made me realize I have a lot to work on in my own novel. I need to raise the stakes for my characters and trust my readers more. Writing lesson: high stakes are important in any time period.

Rock on, Avi. Rock on. I will rescue your books from the thrift store any day.

In Summation

Did I like it? Most of it, yes
Would I recommend it? Absolutely
Did it make me jealous? Not at all