Of the First 250: A Formula for Success

The dreaded first 250 words of your manuscript -- if you are a writer, you know what I'm talking about. The pressure to make the first page of your book be EVERYTHING is insane. It has to be well-written, attention-grabbing, clear, interesting, filled with voice, start at the right spot, as well as establish character, setting, and the direction of the plot.

In addition to all the things it has to do, there are other things it should absolutely NOT do. It can't start off too slow or too fast, be too action-packed or dump too much information. It can't open with a prologue, a car crash, the character waking up, or a character looking in a mirror.

Lord have mercy! It's enough to make anyone tear their hair out and cry into a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Not that I've done that or anything.

Assuming the pages are generally well-written, most of the criticism of the first pages from agents and readers falls into a few categories that are summed up in ambiguous phrases like:

• Doesn't start in the right place
• Doesn't "grab" me
• Wasn't invested in characters or couldn't connect with them
• Was confused or couldn't understand what was happening

After reading a lot on the subject and approximately a bajillion other writer's first 250 on blogs, I think I may have finally found the magic formula. The best openers manage to blend all of these five elements: setting, uniqueness, character, conflict, and reaction (aka SUCCR). This was the best acronym I could come up with. It's pronounced "sucker."

The first three elements of SUCCR -- setting, uniqueness, and character -- should be fundamental to your story. If you haven't come up with a unique premise with compelling characters and a recognizable setting, then you have deeper issues. These three elements shouldn't be conveyed all at once. They should be sprinkled throughout using adjectives, short descriptions, and bits of dialogue. Remember to trust your reader to create the world from hints you give them. In the first 250, don't waste space with long descriptions or world-building tidbits.

A unique premise doesn't have to be outlandish or crazy to stand out. All it needs to do is draw readers in and make them curious about what will happen on the next page or next chapter.

Here are some (ridiculous) examples of how you should and shouldn't incorporate SUC in your first 250:

Not so good 

Marya bent over the iacthix terminal, followed the tracking signal that beamed into her retinas, and smiled triumphantly when the terminal unlocked and spit out her diploma.

"See," she announced to Ripstock. "I told you I passed." Ripstock wagged his tentacles, then licked her toes.

Better 

When it was Marya's turn to be scanned by the registrar terminal, she couldn't look at Ripstock, afraid to see the doubt in his usually trusting face. The laser flashed in her eyes, followed immediately by the whirr of the terminal. An engraved diploma clinked into the bin, and Marya retrieved it triumphantly.

"See," she announced to Ripstock. "I told you I passed."

In the first example, we have no idea what kind of terminal Marya is at or what her relationship to Ripstock is. There are too many new words to comprehend. In the second example, even the tiny word choices of "registrar" and "diploma" help ground the reader and establish the setting and unique situation. In the first example, Ripstock appears out of nowhere and we have no idea why he's there. In the second example, although there is less physical detail, it's clear that Ripstock is friendly, but is doubting her right now.

Here's one more example based on the dreaded waking up scenario:

Not so good: 

Hunter woke up screaming for the fiftieth time that month. His dream that a beautiful woman was clawing at his face was real this time! Without thinking, he unsheathed his dagger and thrust it upwards. The woman evaporated into wisps of gardenia-scented smoke. He lay back, covered in sweat, sure he would never fall asleep again.

Better: 

Hunter's bunkmates were snoring as usual. For the fiftieth time, he checked the dagger at his side, hopeful that tonight he would have a chance to use it on something solid. Determined to stay awake, he reached out for his friend Ito only to find his bed empty. Hunter panicked, feeling the wrinkled bedsheets in darkness. He didn't think he was dreaming, but how many times had he fallen asleep only to be awoken by his own screaming and the scent of gardenias mixed with blood?  

In both of these examples, we end in a similar place, but the second example gets there in a more concrete setting and without the character waking up. As a bonus, it introduces a missing friend, which might be enough mystery to keep a reader or agent intrigued. The first example might get the "starts in the wrong place" reaction, but the second example, depending on how it progresses, might not.

The last two elements of SUCCR, conflict and reaction, should take up more space in your first pages. They will help readers connect with your characters. If you have gotten comments from readers and agents that they aren't "grabbed by" or "connecting" with your characters, adding a touch of CR can help.

Here's an excellent example of conflict and reaction from the first pages of The Secret Garden:

One frightfully hot morning, when [Mary] was about nine years old, she awakened feeling very cross, and she became crosser still when she saw that the servant who stood by her bedside was not her Aya.

"Why did you come?" she said to the strange woman. "I will not let you stay. Send my Ayah to me."

The woman looked frightened, but she only stammered that the Ayah could not come, and when Mary threw herself into a passion and beat and kicked her, she looked only more frightened and repeated that it was not possible for the Ayah to come to Missie Sahib.

Mary's reaction to her Ayah's absence tells us something about her and her character. It isn't pleasant, but it helps us understand the "quite contrary" girl whose parents and Ayah are about to die. The conflict here is minor, but by the time we truly understand the horrible situation later, we have some insight into how she will handle it.

Try to incorporate something minor in your first 250 that your character can react to. The key words here are minor and something.

There are two main problems regarding CR that I've noticed in other writers' opening pages. Some have too big of a conflict right away like a car crash or death. In this instance, we don't know the character well enough and any reaction is open to criticism such as crying too much, not enough, doesn't seem scared, etc.

The opposite problem is having no conflict or having other characters reacting to the main character. This is especially noticeable when a character is being bullied immediately. When the main character is shrinking internally, even if we are inside of his or her head, it's not inviting to a reader. Also, if the character is musing about life over a bowl of cereal or observing the landscape instead of reacting to something, you aren't trusting your reader to get to know your character through his or her actions. Actions speak louder than words!

The first 250 are like the reader looking through a keyhole into your book. Do we want to follow this character and author through the door? Happy Writing!