It's been about a year since I last posted on this blog. It's incredible how much your life can change in a year. Some great things have happened to move my writing career forward. Hopefully I'll be able to share those soon. But the most amazing thing in my life happened five months ago: I became a foster mom.
When I first decided to become a foster parent, I scoured the Internet and bookstores for any kind of personal stories. I was desperate for any insight into the inner workings of a foster household. I was filled with doubt and questions. Could I do this as a single parent? Was I crazy? How could I provide the best home for a child? What do I say when they cry? How do I get them to eat their vegetables? What if they get sick and I have to take them to the doctor? I talked to other foster parents and read Fosterhood and Single Foster Mommy. I found answers to some of my questions. But my biggest question remained unanswered. Can I really do this?
If you're reading this post and thinking about becoming a single foster parent, you may have the same doubts, fears, and questions. I often felt in those early days like I was peering into a darkened window and seeing only myself reflected back. I wanted to see past the darkness to the other side. I wanted to see success and a happy child. But in fostering I quickly learned, the only thing that is known is that there will be unknowns. There will be uncertainty and poor communication and things that will make you want to rip out your eyeballs. But yes, there will also be wonderful days that make it all worthwhile.
And I found the answer to my question. No, I can't do it. Not alone. In fact, I was completely delusional to even think that I could. Foster parenting is hands-down the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I need the support of my wonderful parents, my friends, my social worker, a hair stylist, and a babysitter. I need peace and quiet. I need a break.
But you know what? I'm still doing it. There are days when I'm completely overwhelmed and other days that I feel like a rockstar foster parent. It doesn't matter that I can't do it alone. It doesn't matter that sometimes we don't eat vegetables for dinner. The only thing that matters is my 8-year-old foster daughter. She is bright, opinionated, talented, resilient, athletic, and musical. She is also stubborn, moody, and has a very different concept of personal space than I do. When she started calling me "Mom" it scared the crap out of me. I'll be honest, I don't feel like her mom. I feel like her adoring auntie. But somehow, we've stumbled our way into a version of a family. And I love her. I love her so much.
When I'm having a rough day, I think back to the reason why I became a foster parent. I had love to give, and there are kids that need to be loved. It's as simple as that. In my heart, I know I'm fostering for the right reason.
So if you're reading this, and you're still unsure or scared, think about the reason why you want to be a foster parent. If you are doing this to "help" a kid, then you may be disappointed. The "help" you can give is a tiny drop in a very dry bucket. The foster care system is broken. Society is broken. You can't fix it. What you will do is give. You may get nothing in return. You'll give your love, your time, your energy, your money, your patience, and, most importantly, your stability. You have to be the rock in the storm of a child's life.
After my daughter goes back to her family, I am sure I'll have more to say. Right now though, it feels like we are in the middle of a journey. I am so grateful for all of the people in my life who have been supporting me. If you know someone who is a foster parent, they need your support. They also need the number of a good babysitter!
Thursday, October 27, 2016
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
The Jealous Writer's Book Review: The Clockwork Three by Matthew J. Kirby
Full disclosure: I bought this book by accident. One of the members of my writing group was trying to recommend The Clockwork Dark series by John Claude Bemis, but because I only remembered the word "clockwork," I picked up this book instead. So it goes.
Because of this little mistaken identity incident, I literally had no expectations for this book. Not in a negative way, but it's hard to be preemptively jealous of something you didn't mean to read in the first place. My jealousy would develop or not develop on the merits of the book alone. YOUR MOVE, BOOK!
The book rose to the challenge from the very first words on the page. First lines are a big deal in books these days. You have two seconds to bait a reader, and this book has an enticing hook:
When Giuseppe found the green violin, he did not think it would help him escape.ALRIGHT, BOOK. YOU GOT ME. How could I not keep reading? Giuseppe is adorable. He's the Italian version of Jack from Newsies. But instead of selling newspapers, Giuseppe is a busker who plays his violin to try and earn enough money to pay off the unscrupulous people who took him from Italy to America and get back home to his little brother. When he plays the green violin, he makes more money than he ever has before. Here's the end of the first chapter:
But then he thought about home, of chasing his brother through the sheep pastures, and Giuseppe stayed where he was. If he let himself, he would use a little of that money every night, and soon it would be gone. He refused to let himself do that, or he would never earn enough for the boat ticket. It was enough that he had the green violin.
He went inside.WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME CRY, BOOK? But seriously. This was probably the best first chapter I've ever read. It drew me in with a sympathetic character, an amazing setting, and a compelling story. I wanted to reach into my Kindle, pull Giuseppe out of that horrible place, smother him with hugs, and then stuff him full of pasta (but not in a creepy way). Writing lesson: The first chapter really does matter.
And then...we switched narrators. And then...we switched them again. This book has three narrators: Giuseppe, Frederick, and Hannah. The rest of the story is told through these alternating points of view. Unfortunately, I didn't personally find Frederick or Hannah to be as compelling as my beloved little Giuseppe. Each character had a clearly defined goal, and I admired the author's skill in weaving the three stories together, but, for me, Giuseppe's story remained the strongest. I was racing through two intervening chapters to get back to him.
The rest of the book was filled with plenty of twists and turns. Often, it seemed to veer into a different genre on a whim. There's a little magic, a little steampunk, a little industrial revolution, and a lot more Newsies-type exploitation of children. But despite the occasional meandering moments, it was a well-written, enjoyable read. It's the sort of book that makes you hate the author just a little bit because he's so imaginative and talented in ways that you will never be (or maybe that's just me). DAMN YOU, BOOK. YOU WERE VERY GOOD.But at the end of it all, the biggest takeaway for me as a writer was still the amazing first chapter. If you're looking for a book that clearly demonstrates how to establish a likeable character with clear goals and obstacles, this is a good one to check out. And for that reason alone, it inspires much jealousy in my bitter heart.
Apparently, I'm not the only one. I will leave you with this review from Mikel Andrews on Amazon:
As a writer, I'm wildly jealous of Kirby's voice and complete mastery of storytelling. It's a perfect novel. For any age. Truly magical.
In Summation
Did I like it? Yes, especially my beloved bambino, GiuseppeWould I recommend it? Yes
Did it make me jealous? Of course
Saturday, September 12, 2015
Of How I Overcame Writer's Block: A Word Count Goal Worksheet
Writing a novel is hard. Really, really hard. If you've finished one, you know. If you're working on one, you also know. If you've never tried, then trust me: it's hard.
There are many reasons why writing an entire novel from beginning to "the end" is tough. It's like juggling 100 plates in the air at once. All writers have difficulties with different parts of the process. For me, getting through writer's block and making the time to write are particularly challenging.
A few months ago, I was about 25,000 words into my latest draft, and I was suddenly stuck. I couldn't have been more stuck if my fingers were glued together and my brain was filled with concrete. I had gotten to the point where I couldn't see the forest for the trees. Finishing seemed so far away that I couldn't figure out how to get there. Weeks, then months went by with little to no progress.
As I usually do, I turned to the Internet for advice. There is tons of good advice out there for overcoming writer's block: freewriting, skipping to a different place in the novel, taking a walk, drinking, writing on a schedule, etc. etc. There are even some great online word count trackers to keep track of your progress. I tried it all. None of it was working for me. What was even more frustrating was that I had the rest of the novel outlined. I had a map to the end, but my car was out of gas.
Long story short, I decided that what I needed was a checklist. Lists have always been my salvation. Nothing is more satisfying than crossing an item off a list or putting a ✓ in a box. I picked a daily word count goal of 500 that seemed attainable (that number was my average word count on a good day, but many writers average around 1000). Then I committed to meeting this word count goal five days per week. Adding that up (500 words per day × 5 days per week × 5 weeks = 12,500 words per month) meant that I'd rack up 25,000 words in two months! When I saw the numbers in black and white, it almost seemed too good to be true!
I sketched out my worksheet in boxes on a sheet of paper and gave it a try. Some days I made the goal, some I didn't, but to my delight, it worked! Two and half months after I started using my checklist, I had written over 25,000 words. My manuscript had doubled from 25,000 to nearly 60,000 words in less than half the time it took me to write the first part. I finally found my own personal miracle cure for my writer's block!
Every writer's process is individual, but I wanted to share my worksheet in the hopes that it will help someone else. You can adjust the numbers in the Word document to suit your own preferences. The only rule is that you have to celebrate when you get to the end of the sheet. Eat a cupcake, buy a new pair of shoes, go see a movie...whatever you want to do to celebrate getting to a writing milestone!
Good luck and happy writing!
There are many reasons why writing an entire novel from beginning to "the end" is tough. It's like juggling 100 plates in the air at once. All writers have difficulties with different parts of the process. For me, getting through writer's block and making the time to write are particularly challenging.
A few months ago, I was about 25,000 words into my latest draft, and I was suddenly stuck. I couldn't have been more stuck if my fingers were glued together and my brain was filled with concrete. I had gotten to the point where I couldn't see the forest for the trees. Finishing seemed so far away that I couldn't figure out how to get there. Weeks, then months went by with little to no progress.
As I usually do, I turned to the Internet for advice. There is tons of good advice out there for overcoming writer's block: freewriting, skipping to a different place in the novel, taking a walk, drinking, writing on a schedule, etc. etc. There are even some great online word count trackers to keep track of your progress. I tried it all. None of it was working for me. What was even more frustrating was that I had the rest of the novel outlined. I had a map to the end, but my car was out of gas.
Long story short, I decided that what I needed was a checklist. Lists have always been my salvation. Nothing is more satisfying than crossing an item off a list or putting a ✓ in a box. I picked a daily word count goal of 500 that seemed attainable (that number was my average word count on a good day, but many writers average around 1000). Then I committed to meeting this word count goal five days per week. Adding that up (500 words per day × 5 days per week × 5 weeks = 12,500 words per month) meant that I'd rack up 25,000 words in two months! When I saw the numbers in black and white, it almost seemed too good to be true!
I sketched out my worksheet in boxes on a sheet of paper and gave it a try. Some days I made the goal, some I didn't, but to my delight, it worked! Two and half months after I started using my checklist, I had written over 25,000 words. My manuscript had doubled from 25,000 to nearly 60,000 words in less than half the time it took me to write the first part. I finally found my own personal miracle cure for my writer's block!
 |
| My handwritten worksheets |
Every writer's process is individual, but I wanted to share my worksheet in the hopes that it will help someone else. You can adjust the numbers in the Word document to suit your own preferences. The only rule is that you have to celebrate when you get to the end of the sheet. Eat a cupcake, buy a new pair of shoes, go see a movie...whatever you want to do to celebrate getting to a writing milestone!
Good luck and happy writing!
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Cover Reveal: Fairly Twisted Tales for a Horribly Ever After
Last November, I heard about a Project Runway-themed short story competition by REUTs Publications that coincided with National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I'm not sure I'll ever have the discipline to participate in the full version of NaNoWriMo which involves writing 50,000 words in one month, but writing a short story in a week sounded like fun!
And it was fun! The theme of the competition was twisted fairytales with supernatural elements which led to lots of ghoulish entries, many of which were revealed later on the REUTs blog. I feel incredibly honored and excited that my entry, "Sweetheart Ronin," a reimaging of the Grimm Brothers' "Sweetheart Roland" was picked to be part of the final anthology.
Without further ado, here is the creeptastic cover of Fairly Twisted Tales for a Horribly Ever After...
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Ta da!
Blurb: When it comes to fairy tales, there are plenty of things that go bump in the night. Things so morbid and grotesque, so sinister and diabolical, they haunt your imagination; warnings from generations past that still manage to terrify.
In 2013, authors came together for the annual Project REUTSway writing competition, penning their own interpretive twists on stories we're all familiar with. Seventeen were chosen, bringing twenty-five new versions to life. From The Brother's Grimm, to Hans Christian Andersen and beyond, these tales are not the ones you grew up with. They are, however, Fairly Twisted Tales for a Horribly Ever After. Dare to find out what happens when "once upon a time" ends in the stuff of nightmares?
Add To GoodReads - Follow On Twitter
I love the cover! The spooky background photo and color palate are perfect for a Halloween night read.
The other cool thing about the book is that some of the proceeds are going to charity. The 2013 organization was Reading Tree/Discover Books, a “green” charity which promotes literacy in the US by keeping books out of landfills, funding library sustainability, providing books to low-income families, and more.
For the 2014 season, Project REUTsway giving you the chance to decide where proceeds will go! The new year also brings with it a new theme. So brush up on your histories, legends, and cultural lore, because they'll be looking for the most original, fantastic versions of tales that have braved the centuries.
And it was fun! The theme of the competition was twisted fairytales with supernatural elements which led to lots of ghoulish entries, many of which were revealed later on the REUTs blog. I feel incredibly honored and excited that my entry, "Sweetheart Ronin," a reimaging of the Grimm Brothers' "Sweetheart Roland" was picked to be part of the final anthology.
Without further ado, here is the creeptastic cover of Fairly Twisted Tales for a Horribly Ever After...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ta da!
Blurb: When it comes to fairy tales, there are plenty of things that go bump in the night. Things so morbid and grotesque, so sinister and diabolical, they haunt your imagination; warnings from generations past that still manage to terrify.
In 2013, authors came together for the annual Project REUTSway writing competition, penning their own interpretive twists on stories we're all familiar with. Seventeen were chosen, bringing twenty-five new versions to life. From The Brother's Grimm, to Hans Christian Andersen and beyond, these tales are not the ones you grew up with. They are, however, Fairly Twisted Tales for a Horribly Ever After. Dare to find out what happens when "once upon a time" ends in the stuff of nightmares?
Add To GoodReads - Follow On Twitter
I love the cover! The spooky background photo and color palate are perfect for a Halloween night read.
The other cool thing about the book is that some of the proceeds are going to charity. The 2013 organization was Reading Tree/Discover Books, a “green” charity which promotes literacy in the US by keeping books out of landfills, funding library sustainability, providing books to low-income families, and more.
For the 2014 season, Project REUTsway giving you the chance to decide where proceeds will go! The new year also brings with it a new theme. So brush up on your histories, legends, and cultural lore, because they'll be looking for the most original, fantastic versions of tales that have braved the centuries.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Of a Post about Post-Its
An Ode to Post-It Notes
O Post-It Notes, you keep me on track.
When my life gets out of whack.
When I get stuck or in a jam,
Your neon yellow says,"Here I am!"
You keep my thoughts and jots and scribbles
And all my unintelligible drivel.
My lists are safe when in your care,
You're sticky, so you'll stay right there.
My pad is gone, what will I do?
I'll get online and order two.
O Post-It Notes, you keep me on track.
When my life gets out of whack.
When I get stuck or in a jam,
Your neon yellow says,"Here I am!"
You keep my thoughts and jots and scribbles
And all my unintelligible drivel.
My lists are safe when in your care,
You're sticky, so you'll stay right there.
My pad is gone, what will I do?
I'll get online and order two.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Of Myers-Briggs and Characters
In a previous blog post, I talked about getting to know your characters through their zodiac signs. While that was fun, it's not exactly scientific. And as I continue writing the main character of my latest novel, I want to make sure that she is believable and well-rounded.
At my day job, I've been working on a book about skills for business managers. One of the tools the book suggests is taking the Myers-Briggs personality test and learning about your strengths and weaknesses. But isn't that what we need to know about our fictional characters, too? I decided to take the test as my main character, Emily, and see what happened.
The test is based on Carl Jung's theories of how we experience the world. The test measures four different categories and assigns letters corresponding to which end of the spectrum you lean towards in each category. If you want to read more about the Myers Briggs test and personality types, visit the official website.
The actual Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test is 93 questions long and costs money to take. However, there are free online questionnaires that mimic the original test and will tell you which of 16 personality types you belong to based on your answers. A free version by Humanmetrics is here. And another one by 16 Personalities is here.
The Humanmetrics test is fast and easy to take. The 16 Personalities test takes a little bit longer, but it might make you think about your character's actions more because it asks you to choose on a sliding scale.
I filled out both versions as Emily and got very similar results, which I am taking as a sign that I have a good handle on her personality. On the Humanmetrics test, the result was ESFP. On the 16 Personalities test, the result was ENFP.
Both of these personality types describe someone who is fun-loving, sociable, curious, talkative, and emotional. Exactly what I was going for! But maybe that was a self-fulfilling expectation. I did fill out the quiz, after all.
However, I think the most helpful part of the results is discovering what you weren't expecting to see. Examining your character's personality profile for traits that may surprise you will give you a deeper understanding of how your character will react to the events in your story.
For example, if your character is highly introverted and is in a situation where he must be around family or friends for a long time, he would probably become stressed and seek to be alone. Or if your character is very intuitive and feels others' emotional pain keenly, how would she deal with those feelings?
On the flip side, if you want your character to display certain traits that did not show up in your character's type, find the type that does display those traits. What actions or emotions would your character need to display in order for them to be that type?
Another helpful exercise is to search for fictional characters in literature and film who share your character's personality type. By reading and seeing other characters with the same personality type, you may get some fresh insight into your own character.
So what is your character's personality type? Is it similar to or different from your own? Did you learn anything new after taking the test?
At my day job, I've been working on a book about skills for business managers. One of the tools the book suggests is taking the Myers-Briggs personality test and learning about your strengths and weaknesses. But isn't that what we need to know about our fictional characters, too? I decided to take the test as my main character, Emily, and see what happened.
The test is based on Carl Jung's theories of how we experience the world. The test measures four different categories and assigns letters corresponding to which end of the spectrum you lean towards in each category. If you want to read more about the Myers Briggs test and personality types, visit the official website.
The actual Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test is 93 questions long and costs money to take. However, there are free online questionnaires that mimic the original test and will tell you which of 16 personality types you belong to based on your answers. A free version by Humanmetrics is here. And another one by 16 Personalities is here.
The Humanmetrics test is fast and easy to take. The 16 Personalities test takes a little bit longer, but it might make you think about your character's actions more because it asks you to choose on a sliding scale.
I filled out both versions as Emily and got very similar results, which I am taking as a sign that I have a good handle on her personality. On the Humanmetrics test, the result was ESFP. On the 16 Personalities test, the result was ENFP.
Both of these personality types describe someone who is fun-loving, sociable, curious, talkative, and emotional. Exactly what I was going for! But maybe that was a self-fulfilling expectation. I did fill out the quiz, after all.
However, I think the most helpful part of the results is discovering what you weren't expecting to see. Examining your character's personality profile for traits that may surprise you will give you a deeper understanding of how your character will react to the events in your story.
For example, if your character is highly introverted and is in a situation where he must be around family or friends for a long time, he would probably become stressed and seek to be alone. Or if your character is very intuitive and feels others' emotional pain keenly, how would she deal with those feelings?
On the flip side, if you want your character to display certain traits that did not show up in your character's type, find the type that does display those traits. What actions or emotions would your character need to display in order for them to be that type?
Another helpful exercise is to search for fictional characters in literature and film who share your character's personality type. By reading and seeing other characters with the same personality type, you may get some fresh insight into your own character.
So what is your character's personality type? Is it similar to or different from your own? Did you learn anything new after taking the test?
Monday, September 15, 2014
Under the Sealing Wax: The Alchemist Empress
One of the coolest things about the Middle Ages is that alchemy was a legitimate profession. Before the discovery of gravity, or the atom, or cells, there were men and women who searched for the secret to unlocking the mysteries of matter.
One such woman was Barbara of Cilla (1392-1451), wife of Holy Roman Emperor Sigismund. Renowned for her beauty and intelligence, she ruled over her husband's growing empire while he was away fighting wars and crusades. After his death, political rivals stripped her of much of her wealth, briefly imprisoned her, and accused her of heresy and immoral behavior. She was also rumored to have taken up the practice of alchemy later in life.
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| Queen Barbara at Mass. Starnberg - Konstanz. Fol. 21r |
I heard the rumor in various languages about the queen of the king of divine memory, Sigismund, that she was skilled in the art of physics. I went to her to make an assessment of her in the art of physics, and she answered me cleverly. I saw that she took mercury and arsenic and other things she knew well, and she made a powder, which whitened the copper, but did not pass well the test with the hammer, and with that she made many deceptions among the people. [...] Again I saw, that she took some saffron of Mars [iron oxide], some saffron of Venus [calcified copper], and other powders, and mixed them, and made cement out of them, and grasped it together with pieces of gold and argent [silver], and united them, it appeared pure gold both from outside and inside. And when she cast the whole thing, it lost its red color, and thus many traders were deceived with that.When John tries to point out her trickery, she goes a little Red Queen on him:
I saw many tricks and deceptions carried out by her, and corrected her in words. She however wanted to jail me, but I could leave with peace, because God helped me.
(Translated by Benedek Lang in Unlocked Books: Manuscripts of Learned Magic, p. 156.)We can pretty safely assume that Barbara never unlocked the secret formula for turning lead into gold. She probably never found the key to eternal life, either, because she died of the plague in her late fifties.
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| Barbara de Celje. Woodcut from the Nuremberg Chronicle. |
However, during her marriage to Sigismund, Barbara helped to found the chivalric Order of the Dragon. Guess who was a member of the Order of the Dragon? ... Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?... Vlad Dracul, father of Vlad the Impaler, who is also known as Dracula! Coincidence? Perhaps not.
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